Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Thoughtful Ideas Liveblogging from the Capitol Steps: February 1, 2013

The pundits predicted that the BP oil spill in the Gulf, which turned into the greatest environmental catastrophe in American history, would doom Obama’s chances for a second term. Once again, they underestimated him, much as Truman defeated Dewey in 1948. Obama won reelection in November 2012, having campaigned on one core theme: “Go Green.”

Backed with money from big oil and big coal, Obama’s opponents launched a major campaign to block his green initiative immediately after his inauguration. In response, Obama’s advisers encouraged him to pull a ploy from Reagan’s playbook by going directly to the people over the heads of special interests and Congress.

This morning, at 10:00 AM, before several million supporters, mainly students, crammed into the Washington Mall, Obama launched “The Great Environmental Cultural Revolution.”

Obama was dressed in a light green uniform. Two students stood by his side wearing similar light green uniforms adorned with dark green armbands and scarves. Obama encouraged his youthful supporters to travel throughout the fifty states to spread the green message, educating Americans about the benefits of green energy to prevent future environmental catastrophes. To provide the students with material to promote the newly proclaimed “Great Environmental Cultural Revolution,” millions of little green books were printed with quotations about the dangers of global warming, environmental catastrophes, and further dependence on energy imports. This would be the moment when American turned green and secured energy independence.

Student leaders proclaimed themselves “Green Guards.” They urged outing opponents of green energy, parading them in dunce caps, and forcing them to confess to excessive consumption of fossil fuels. Green reeducation seminars would be established around the country.

If all went according to plan, Congress would enact Obama’s green agenda. Turning the country upside down for two years would be a small price to pay to save the planet. Thereafter the Green Guards would return to school to complete their educations, knowing they had preserved the environment for future generations.

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