Wednesday, November 7, 2018

Dateline: November 7, 2018, Qo’noS (Kronos), Klingon Home World

On November 7, 2018, the Klingon High Council imposed an indefinite ban on visas to Earthling members, supporters, and donors of the Democrat Party to visit any settlement or planet in the Klingon Empire.

Responding to a question from an Earthling reporter at an interstellar press conference, the spokesman for the High Council replied that the central value defining Klingon Warrior Culture is honor.  The spokesman stated that Democrats have no honor as revealed in their treatment of President Trump and Judge Kavanaugh.  Accordingly, Earthling Democrats will be denied the privilege of sightseeing and interacting with Klingons.

Simultaneously, on the Vulcan Home World, the Vulcan High Command issued a similar ban on visas to Earthling Democrats for travel in Vulcan space.

Responding to an Earthling reporter’s question at an interstellar press conference, the Vulcan spokesman replied that the central value defining Vulcan Culture is logic and the suppression of emotion.  The spokesman stated that Earthling Democrats reject logic and resorted to mobs in their treatment of President Trump and Judge Kavanaugh.  Accordingly, Earthling Democrats will be denied the privilege of sightseeing and interacting with Vulcans.

Seeing a chance to profit from the Klingon and Vulcan bans on Earthling tourism, on November 8, 2018, at an interstellar press conference, the Grand Nagus and members of the Ferengi Commerce Authority announced incentives for tourist agencies that bring free-spending Earthling Democrats to Ferenginar and other settlements in the Ferengi Alliance.  The Ferengi are obsessed with profit and trade.  The 285 Rules of Acquisition is the basis on which Ferengi society is organized.  Ferengi strive to accumulate as may bars of gold-pressed latinum as possible, and take pride in swindling unwary customers.

Similarly, at an interstellar press conference, a spokesman for the Imperial Senate and the Continuing Committee of the Romulan Star Empire encouraged Earthling Democrats to visit their Romulus and Remus Home Worlds.  Romulans are a counterpoint to the logical Vulcan race, whom they resemble and with whom they share a common ancestry.  Romulans are characterized as passionate, cunning, and opportunistic, the exact opposite of the logical and cold Vulcans.  The press spokesman stated that Romulans and Earthling Democrats could learn duplicitious, deceitful, dishonest, and treacherous methods from each other.

Other humanoid extraterrestrials, including the Cardassians, Andorians, Bajorans, and Betazoid, have convened their political leadership on how best to capitalize on the exclusion of Earthling Democrats from Klingon and Vulcan space, and if they could benefit in some way by competing with the Ferengi and Romulans to encourage Earthling Democrats to visit their worlds.

Interstellar reporters on the home worlds of these other races were told that announcements would be forthcoming,

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